**Please keep in mind that this is my experience. Every mom has their own unique story to tell. My narrative is not better than worse than someone else’s. While this is an extremely intimate post, I share because I found it helpful, comforting even, to read birth stories while I was pregnant.
Before getting pregnant, I never in a million years expected to want to have a natural birth. It terrified me. But the more I researched the benefits and came across accounts like Pain Free Birth, I started to believe more and more that I could do it.
My due date was March 3rd, however I expected to go all the way to Mid March at the slow rate I was progressing. We had a 39 week appointment on Friday, February 25th where our provider performed a cervical exam. I was only about 1cm dilated and still extremely high and tight, with absolutely no signs of labor. Our doctor said we were still a ways away from having a baby.
On Sunday the 27th I woke up bright and early at 4:30am, extremely alert and awake. Very abnormal for my schedule, however I didn’t think anything of it. Later that day my husband wanted to go and take a family walk with our dog Sadie through the backroads of our neighborhood. Throughout my entire pregnancy I would take Sadie out on 30 minute walks, so I didn’t think it would be an issue. Half way into the walk I kept telling my husband that things felt different. I thought maybe it was because I was walking on uneven ground or something. I had to take it super slow and stop a few times. It took us 50 minutes to walk 2 miles! We got home and I still felt kinda “off” but didn’t know what it was. I definitely didn’t think it was labor. I made us dinner and we relaxed for the rest of the evening. At 8:30pm I told my husband I wanted cookies so went back into the kitchen to bake us some homemade ones. All the while I was feeling a lot of pelvic pressure without thinking too much of it. I showered to help alleviate the discomfort and went to bed.
I only slept from 10pm-12am before I woke up experiencing some contractions, which I thought were just more intense Braxton Hicks contractions. I woke up again at 1am and eventually moved to the couch to not wake my husband, as I needed to start breathing through some surges. At 4am I went to the bathroom and had some bloody show. I panicked a little but was also still in total denial that anything was happening.
But the pelvic pressure started to pick up and get more consistent, so I woke my husband up to let him know what was happening. At 4:45am we started timing the contractions, finishing up chores around the house and packing up our hospital bags, thinking we were heading into the hospital in a few hours. At this point I was having consistent contractions, but they were inconsistent as far as timing. They were lasting 30-60 seconds, but they’d come in waves of 10 minutes apart, 7, 8, 14, 6, 6, 6… but never 5 minutes apart for an hour. The app I was using to track them told us multiple times to get ready to go to the hospital, but never to head in. It went on like that all day long. My contractions were inconsistent but did seem to get more intense as the day went on. The mental prep work I had done, concentrating on my breathing, accepting each contraction, reminding myself of my goals helped me get through each one. My husband would rub my back and make sure I had everything I needed to be comfortable. Finally around 6:45pm we started getting concerned about my progress and the health of our baby. I messaged a nurse friend of mine to let her know what was happening. She said to go into the hospital and get checked just in case since it was a long time to be in labor without progressing.
We drove to the hospital which was luckily only 15 minutes away. I had 2 contractions in the truck and they were so uncomfortable. I ended up taking off my seatbelt and getting on all fours to get through them. I had another contraction in the parking lot before we entered the hospital to get checked in. I had another contraction in the waiting room and we were finally seen by a nurse around 8:00pm. She did a cervix check and said “Well…” so we were like omg I’m only like 3cm dilated and they’re going to send us home. Then she finished her sentence. “You’re 9cm dilated… you’re going to have a baby in a few hours!”
We were moved out of triage to an individual room where I continued to labor. However, the same thing happened as it did at home. My contractions, while intense and at 9cm dilated, were still inconsistent. Labor seemed to be stalling. Our nurse Sara was an absolute angel and did everything she could to help get our baby to engage more, as his head was still high. She knew what my birth plan was (natural with no interventions) and was trying to stick to it as best she could. We tried different positions, laboring on the toilet, moving around the room… but nothing seemed to help. I never had a natural instinct to push.
The doctor came in around 12:30am to check on us and told me that I needed another cervical exam or an intervention because I was at a failure to progress. I told him that the nurse and I were going to do a cervical exam and try a few more positions before we made a decision. So she started to perform the exam and while feeling for the baby’s head, my water broke. I’m still not sure if it was on purpose or on accident, but either way it provided us with some relief. She said I was at 9.5cm and the baby was still pretty high and rotated. We continued to try and labor anyway she could think of to keep things moving and to have him shift. Around 1:30am, with still no urge to push, she turned to me and said “You just need to start pushing. That’s the only way he’s going to come. And he needs to come soon.”
She had me start grunting with each contraction to try and use my breath to get him moving, which didn’t seem to be working. At one point, I was on my side pushing with what felt like all my might. I asked my nurse if he was close so she brought in a mirror so I could see the results of my effort. It was helpful and yet incredibly discouraging at the same time because I felt like I was pushing with all my might and nothing was happening. I realized that I was going to have to go somewhere I’ve never gone before.
I started pushing harder and making a little more progress, but would get scared of the pain and start to hyperventilate. Have I mentioned how amazing our nurse was? She helped me slow down my breathing, constantly reassuring me I was okay and that I was safe. After another round of unsuccessful pushes during a wave of contractions, Sara told me that our baby’s heart rate was dropping and I needed to switch sides immediately.
I remember looking up at my husband with utter defeat. I was exhausted and thought there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to deliver him naturally. I felt like crying but instead flipped to the other side to keep pushing with each contraction. Once again Sara told me his heart rate was dropping and he needed to come out as soon as possible. I still don’t know how, but I bared down one last time and pushed with everything I had left.
Once his head emerged, everything after happened so fast. The doctors saw the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck so they quickly pulled the rest of him out of me to untangle the cord. They immediately placed him on my chest and once I felt his warm body in my arms and heard his little cries, I started bawling. I was overwhelmed with love, joy, and relief. I turned to look at my husband and said “We did it.” I will remember and cherish that moment for the rest of my life. The doctor delayed the cord cutting and my husband was able to cut the cord.
I pushed for 30 minutes and it was hands down the absolute hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. And it was definitely the furthest thing from pain free. I ended up with a minor 2nd degree tear and two additional tears on my labias (which I didn’t know was a thing and honestly in my opinion, has been the hardest part of recovery). I was given a local anesthetic and then stitched up. They also provided fentanyl in my IV, but it was still very intense. While it’s a little TMI, I didn’t know that was a thing and want to share my experience with other moms to be. Not to scare, rather to educate. Two weeks later, I’m recovering extremely well and am still extremely happy with my decision to have a natural birth. I think it helped both me and Colten a lot not being drugged up after birth, helped with a speedier recovery and our overall experience.
Colten made his arrival at 2:03am on March 1st at 7.2lbs, 19 inches long. We are beyond blessed to have such a beautiful, healthy, happy baby boy.
With love!
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